John 14: 5-14 (NRSVA)
5 Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’ 6 Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.’
8 Philip said to him, ‘Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.’ 9 Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, “Show us the Father”? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves. 12 Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.
I love it that Thomas is so honest with Jesus on the night of the Last Supper, there must have been so much for the disciples to take in. Thomas is not afraid to say he does not understand what Jesus is talking about. I have imagined Thomas’ thoughts:
In a crowded room, after talk of betrayal,
denial, your death to come,
You ask me to believe.
Believe in You, Your Father too,
Your both intention to bring the Kingdom in.
And then, when you are not living here,
That you intend to pray,
To battle on your knees,
‘make it so’ those things we humans pray.
Somehow empower our trembling knees, faltering steps,
Quaking hearts whilst we suffer your abandonment.
Do the last three years come to this?
To have this deep talk of love,
Of close relationship, of Trinity?
A dance into which we, your companions here, are drawn.
Somehow, caught up in heaven’s plan,
even those who doubt
And say the truth that they do not know, and need to find the way?
You talk of rooms, of places prettified, prepared.
A Father’s House where we are welcomed full by name,
With open arms, rejoicing, thanks
For friendship true, and time well shared.
What is truth?
You are truth you say, yet
If we ask a question you often twist and turn your
Answer, another question pose,
Ask us to go deeper, find the truth in what we asked,
And dig the way to clarity.
You trust us!
Guided by the wisdom placed within,
Some by your side we learned, other
Thoughts are somehow
Re-imagined in our minds: possibilities of light and hope,
So, dare I trust You, dare I say the words?
You promise my inclusion in your plan to change the world,
Through those who love you.
On this night, is that what you ask?
Simply to believe and trust
That wherever I am, and wherever you are,
Whatever lies before us in the dark ahead,
We will always be connected,
In the present moment?
Guide us true.
Be our torch of love.