Mary’s Diary: Angels and Fears
Lily Cathcart
December 22, 2021
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Luke 2: 10-12 (NRSVA)
10 But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: 11 to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’
It's early morning and everyone is fast asleep. Except some shepherds who seem to have lit a big fire on the hill. And the increasingly frustrated baby at my breast trying to work out how to feed. Oh and me, of course, I’m awake. I’ve barely slept since he was born and in the dark my mind is filling with fears. I’m afraid I won’t be a good mother, that I won’t be worthy of him. I’m afraid to be so alone in the task God has set me, even though I love Joseph, it’s not the same for him. But I’m not alone, not really, the angel told me God is with me too.
Meeting that angel, Gabriel, I was scared then too. Scared for my life. I think anyone would be if they were just going about their day and a figure made of light popped out of nowhere into their kitchen. ‘Don’t be afraid’ it said, of course I was afraid! I’m surprised angels have ever managed to impart knowledge to anyone, us humans are probably so busy screaming or trying to run away that we nearly miss the whole point.
It took me a while to see the figure in the light, to hear the words in the powerful noise of its voice. Like blowing out a candle and having to let your eyes adjust to the night. Perhaps thats what motherhood is, perhaps thats what faith is too, maybe thats why God made angels so hard to look at.
PRAYER:
Dear God of our fears
Sometimes we are so very scared God
Sometimes even you are scary
Help us, when we face our fears,
to know that you are with us,
and that you love us completely.
Amen
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