Tears Spill Over

Laura Digan September 14, 2026 5 3

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1 Samuel 1: 9-18 (NIV-UK)

9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. 10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.’

12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, ‘How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.’

15 ‘Not so, my lord,’ Hannah replied, ‘I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.’

17 Eli answered, ‘Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.’

18 She said, ‘May your servant find favour in your eyes.’ Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

The Bible is not a book. It’s a place. A place we can be ourselves and bring all of our raw emotions.

In today’s monologue Laura takes us to a sensitive place, where a lonely, ostracised woman talks us through her deep longing for a child. Depending on your life right now and how you’re feeling you may struggle to come to this particular place right now. If that’s true, that’s okay, you don’t have to. Know that God loves you and it’s okay to skip or skim this reflection and head straight to the prayer if it feels too heavy right now.

Monologue:

I have no fine words left. I have only tears.

I come before you, Lord, carrying this sorrow, this ache I cannot put down.

You know how long I have carried it. The questions. The shame. The longing that will not leave me. This longing that wakes with me each morning and follows me into the night.

Even here, they don’t understand me.

But you know Lord.

You hear the prayer that my lips can barely speak. You see beneath the silence, into the deepest corners of my heart.

So I pour it all out to you.

My sorrow. 

My anger. 

My longing. 

My hope.

Everything.

I place it into your hands, because I cannot carry it alone anymore.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. Nothing around me has changed.

And yet… something in Me has.

Perhaps prayer is not always about receiving an answer. Perhaps sometimes prayer is discovering that, even in the waiting, I am heard.

And tonight, Lord, you have heard and that is enough.

Prayer:

God who hears the prayers we struggle to speak, receive all that we carry within us.

Meet us in our waiting, and give us courage to place our deepest longings into your hands.

And when nothing around us has changed, let your presence change something within us. 

Amen