Daily Worship

Forgiveness

September 19, 2020 2
leaves_heart_autumn_unsplash
Image credit: Unsplash

Matthew 18: 21-22 (NRSV)

21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

It is ironic that this very day as I write about forgiveness I am holding on to deep anger in my heart towards someone close to me. They said and did something today that stabbed into my heart and ripped me apart. This person, who I have always tried to love and support, especially over this past year when they have been going through some troubling times. What they said and did today went too far. It was too painful. 

And I’m not going to lie to you and say it will be ok, that I’ll calm down and forgive them. Because I don’t want to. They have hurt me too deeply this time. In my heart I’m saying ‘I’m done with you now. We are finished. I’m not talking to you again. I’m not dealing with you again. I can’t have your toxic energy in my life anymore. You are nothing to me.’ 

But God is whispering in my ear, reminding me of all the times I have been forgiven, all the times I have been given another chance, when I definitely didn’t deserve it. The times I have went too far. The times the cruelty of my words cut flesh from bone. 

Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing. 

But Lord…I don’t want to

Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.

PRAYER:

Help me then Lord
Take this hurt away from my heart
Help me to understand the pain that caused them to hurt me
Help me Lord
Take away my anger
Help me
To forgive