2 Corinthians 13: 5-10 (NRSVA)
5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless, indeed, you fail to pass the test! 6 I hope you will find out that we have not failed. 7 But we pray to God that you may not do anything wrong—not that we may appear to have passed the test, but that you may do what is right, though we may seem to have failed. 8 For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. 9 For we rejoice when we are weak and you are strong. This is what we pray for, that you may become perfect. 10 So I write these things while I am away from you, so that when I come, I may not have to be severe in using the authority that the Lord has given me for building up and not for tearing down.
In my younger days I was in a relationship where I was more in love with him than he was with me. But I lied to myself that he really did love me. I was a romantic and I would make excuses for his bad behaviour and lack of care. But it eventually got to the point where I couldn’t lie to myself anymore and I had to admit to myself that this was not a healthy relationship and that this man really didn’t love or care for me. It was damaging and my self esteem plummeted. It caused me to lack trust in other relationships.
In life we can often lie to ourselves about relationships or situations we find ourselves in. Often we want to hide from the truth, to try and protect ourselves from being hurt. But we can only pretend for so long.
The same goes for our relationship with God. And so Paul urges the Corinthians and us, to give ourselves a regular spiritual check-up. Is the presence of Christ growing in our lives? Are there things we need to bring before God in repentance? It can be a painful experience to bring up anything we have tried to hide from ourselves and God but in confessing and letting it go, we are allowing God to bring healing and transformation into our lives, bringing us closer to him.
It is challenging but if we are not actively taking steps to draw closer to God we are actually drawing further away from him.
Give me a heart to acknowledge the truth,
Raise in me that which I have tried to hide from myself and you.
Give me the courage to face this truth and hand it over to you
Set me free from that which holds me back from a deeper, intimate relationship with you