Denial

​One of the early stages in bereavement is the strange feeling of denial that seems to haunt many of us. How are you feeling a friend asks ? You may not know how exactly you feel but you know you have experienced a great loss. Yet somehow you want to pretend that it’s not happening. Even this kind of pretence can make you feel guilty. You begin to feel bad that your denying your loss.

You should realise that this sense of denial has come about because you are experiencing shock. What has happened to you is so painful that your mind sort of closes down and you try to make sense of the pain by pretending everything is just fine. Sooner or later you will have to begin to face the cold reality of all that has been happing to you.

Readings

  • “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

    John 14:27
    NIV
  • Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Philippians 4:6-7
    NIV
  • ​For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    Jeremiah 29
    NIV

Prayers

  • At the start of another day

    ​At the start of another day

    o Lord
    I silence myself
    with an awareness
    of the uniqueness
    of this day and of this moment
    Through many days and many years
    I have come to this point in my journey
    I have discovered many places
    I have crossed many borders
    I have travelled over many horizons
    I have changed
    in body and mind
    in knowledge
    in perspective
    I have grown
    through my relationships
    with people
    and
    with You
    I have lost
    I have gained
    I have grown
    I have changed
    here I am Lord
    Now
    in this moment
    I accept
    your gift of grace and peace
    for
    what has been…
    and what is to come
    Amen

  • Let go, let God

    ​God, your love and grace amaze us! Through the ups and downs of daily life, you go with us.

    • When we are overwhelmed by the pressures around us, you assure us that we are not on our own.
    • When there seems no light at the end of the tunnel, you open up the way.
    • When we have run out of steam, you help us find new strength.
    • When we feel as if it is all too much, you reach out to us with the message that you are the God on whom we can depend.

    We rejoice that we do not need to face the struggles that come our way on our own. We rejoice that we can let go of our fears and let you take over. We rejoice that we do not need to be discouraged or afraid, because the future depends on you. AMEN.

  • Not my will

    ​Loving God, the words that Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane astound us, ‘Not my will but your will be done’. He knew the difficulties that lay ahead for him, and yet he still spoke the words. He knew he had to walk the road that led to the cross, and yet he still spoke those words. How can we praise you for such selfless love? Father, we confess that we don’t find it easy to be selfless, to give up control, to make ourselves vulnerable. We don’t find it easy to put ourselves into anyone else’s hands - even yours. Help us to find the faith, the courage, the strength to say, ‘not my will, but yours’. AMEN.

  • Gifts of transformation

    ​Loving God

    O Gracious Keeper
    of all that is
    Some changes in my life
    came through choices I have made
    but there are so many changes
    moments when I was left powerless and weak
    where I had no choice but to accept
    when familiar securities and safe circumstances
    gave way to uncertainty and unfamiliar challenges
    help me to see these moments
    as gifts of transformation
    as the birth of Your newness
    in my being
    therefor I pray
    Examine me,
    O God,
    and know my mind;
    test me,
    and discover my thoughts
    and guide me
    in the everlasting way.
    Amen

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