Not ‘if’ but ‘who’
Laura Digan
April 01, 2026
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John 13: 21-32 (NIV-UK)
21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, ‘Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.’
22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, ‘Ask him which one he means.’
25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, ‘Lord, who is it?’
26 Jesus answered, ‘It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.’ Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.
So Jesus told him, ‘What you are about to do, do quickly.’ 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
31 When he was gone, Jesus said, ‘Now the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him. 32 If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.
“He said one of us would betray him, and the room seemed to close in on us. We looked around at each other, searching for certainty, questioning innocence.
I used to think the question was ‘if’ I would follow — but now I see, the question is always ‘who’ I follow.
Because following is a part of us. Like breathing, like learning to walk—we give ourselves over to voices, to paths, to promises. Even Judas… when he left the table, he did not stop following. He only chose another road, another master in the dark.
And that really unsettles me.
Because I, too, am always choosing. What do I trust, what do I obey, what do I love most. You say, “Follow me,” but so many other calls are competing for my heart.
As we walk forward, I feel the weight of it. My steps are never neutral. My choices are never neutral.”
Prayer:
Lord, steady me. Let me see clearly who I am following—
and give me courage to remain with you.
Amen
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