Lord, you see me

Lord, you see me.
You see the outside me
The face I present to the world
The way I want to be seen.
Faithful, hardworking
Generous, loving,
Doing my best.

Lord, you see the shadow side of me.
The bits of me that leak out
When I am not looking.
The face that others see
But I can’t.
The thinly disguised irritation,
The un-admitted ambition,
The dislike of another
Masquerading as collegiality.

Lord you see the inside of me.
The part that others never see.
The anger I am ashamed of.
The guilt from sins long past
And those still present.
The hurt I try to ignore
For fear I am hurt again.

Lord, you see the invisible me
The places that even I don’t recognise.
The desires of my heart
Unacknowledged and even unknown.
Desires for the noble and the holy
But also for the selfish and egocentric.
Lord, you see the whole of me
And still …
You love me!

1 Samuel 16: 1-7

The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.’ 2Samuel said, ‘How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.’ And the Lord said, ‘Take a heifer with you, and say, “I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.” 3Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for me the one whom I name to you.’ 4Samuel did what the Lord commanded, and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling, and said, ‘Do you come peaceably?’ 5He said, ‘Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord; sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.’ And he sanctified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.

6 When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed is now before the Lord.’ 7But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’